


Hi! Welcome To Applebee's

by Grotesque (Grotesque_Flower)



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill is an asshole, M/M, Pacifica knows oh dear god she knows, Public Sex, Sex Toys, Vibrators, but not really sex, double dates, i olove this chapter so much its getting its own publish, public bedroom foolery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 10:54:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7681630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grotesque_Flower/pseuds/Grotesque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting dragged out on some dumb double date with Dipper isn't going to stop Bill from having his bedroom fun, it just makes him have to get creative.</p><p>I loved this chapter so much, so I decided to publish it also on it's own as a solo-one shot UvU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hi! Welcome To Applebee's

Bill was waiting happily impatient in the Mystery Shack bedroom, sitting on Dipper’s bed with his legs crossed and a wide smile on his face. He tapped his fingers along the bedsheets as he waited, perking up even more as he heard the faint footsteps leading up to the door, already knowing who it was.

“Di-“

“Bill, listen…” Dipper opened the door and quickly cut the demon off, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck as he tried to explain this to the other, “I know, I know. We had this planned for a week or so, and I know you still wanna… Mess around, and I do too! But...”

Bill’s expression dropped immediately, staring blankly at his human, “But what.”

He sighed loudly, finally looking over at Bill and instantly regretted it, instead dropping his head to stare at his shoes, “Mabel sorta guilt tripped me into going out with her tonight…”

Bill scoffed loudly and flipped his hands in the air, “Well then what the hell am I going to do? You know, we haven’t gotten a single second of alone time in the past week. Your nerd of an uncle and the scamming one go out of town leaving you, Mabel, and me alone to the house. And then Mabel decides to go scurrying off to what I thought was going to be some alone time with the blonde chick. Now, after we get are plans all lined out, she comes dropping in and dragging you out to Gods know what, leaving me hear trying to figure out what I’m gonna do now. Mess around?? By  _ myself?” _

“Bil-“

“What? Aren’t you going to be late for your sibling play-date!?” Bill’s temper over the matter was that of a child, granted he was getting better over it but still he had a long ways to go and it always gave Dipper the starts of a headache when he acted like a spoiled jealous five year old.

“You’re not going to be alone!” Dipper sighed and stared up at the other, “Dingus, let me finish my sentence before you start your tantrum. Geez. Mabel invited you to come along too, it’s not just me and her, she wants to go on some double date thing.”

“And why would I want to go along with you tw-“

“Three.”

“Oh, excuse me!  **Three.** Along with you three,” Bill rolled his eyes and folded his arms firmly over his chest, uncrossing his legs and planting his feet firmly on the floor.

Dipper simply took in a deep breath and took paced steps till he was sitting on the bed next to the pouting demon, barely running his hand up his arm as he spoke with a soft voice, “Because~, if you do, then we can have the house to ourselves without any more distractions. Guaranteed. Just me and you, all weekend, all for the price of one night with my sister and Pacifica.”

“I don’t wanna go,” the demon huffed loudly, an obvious pout on his face.

Dipper just placed a kiss to his shoulder, “You were invited though.”

“I don’t care, I’m not going.”

“Not even for me? But it’s going to be so lonely by yourself-“

“I can throw another party, I won’t have any supervision so who’s to stop me.” 

Dipper simply chuckled and wrapped his arms around Bill’s form, looking up at him through his lashes, “Alright, but what about me? I’m gonna be so bored and lonely without you there with me…”

The demon shook his leg, still staring straight ahead with a scowled pout on his face. Dipper simply leaned against him more as he spoke in a soft whine, “Nobody to help me out, all by myself, nobody to make the time go by faster. I’m gonna be stuck with my sister and her girlfriend for hours, and by the time I get home I’ll just be too exhausted to do anything, it’s tough dealing with two people on your own…”

Finally Bill looked down at him, huffing again as he jutted his jaw to the side in thought, “Alright, but if I go, there’s something I wanna do.”

“Bi-“

“Alright, fine I can stay home, alone, with you gone. I’ll probably throw some interdimensional party, or perhaps get smashed, or both,” Bill shrugged his shoulders and sighed.

Dipper narrowed his stare. How was this getting turned around on him? He was supposed to get Bill to come along with him, not have Bill try and flip everything. But the demon always did, whether he liked it or not. Dipper sighed, “Alright, fine, what do you wanna do?”

The demon smiled widely and jumped off the bed, practically skipping over to the closet to rummage through it. Once he found what he was looking for he grabbed it and walked back over to his human, “Well, you know how we went to that store the other week? We were supposed to mess with this stuff tonight, but we can’t because well, change of plans obviously. Well, while you weren’t paying attention I may have snagged something f-“

“Did you steal something again, Bill we’ve been over t-“

“Pine Tree, don’t interrupt me,” Bill scolded and continued on, sitting down next to the other and pulling the small bag into his lap and opening it, quickly grabbing what he was looking for, “I thought it’d be fun and all, you know?”

Dipper’s face was already a faint pink when he saw Bill grab the bag, but it flushed even darker when he looked at what was in the demon’s hand. It took him a moment to figure it out what exactly it was he was looking at. A small remote the size of his phone, if even that, it was a blue almost purple color that matched with the other object, a small oblong vibe with a cord attached at one end, “Oh my God…”

“Right?” Bill’s smile widened, staring at the bullet and clicking the dial on the remote, feeling it vibrate in his hand before turning it off.

“When did you even grab that? I didn’t even see those,” The human subconsciously pushed his legs together as he looked up to the other.

“Well, you were looking at those glass wands, and I just barely noticed these on the lower shelf,” he explained happily, making Dipper remember the entire experience again of going into a sex shop for the first time, “You know I’ve looked through those sites and junk you browse and I saw some stuff like this, I thought it looked like fun, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I guess…” He chewed on the inside of his lip, toying with the thought. He wasn’t opposed to it, but it wasn’t something he’d exactly want to try out for the first time while on a double date with his sister.

“Oh come on don’t give me that look! I know you’ve thought about this stuff, relax!” Bill dropped the remote in his lap and wrapped his arm around Dipper, “It’s not like I’m going to make you pop a boner in front of them or anything! It’ll just be for fun, harmless fun. Hey, I won’t even turn it on! Just, have you get a feel for what it’d be like, hell you’ll forget it’s even there!”

Dipper watched the almost wry smile that pulled at the demon’s lips, biting his own in though as he looked back at the vibe, quietly sighing to himself as he agreed, “Alright…”

“Yeah!!! That’s the spirit! Come on, I’ll help you out, then get dressed and we can head over to wherever your sister is wanting to go!” He wasn’t even finished with his words when he had Dipper on his back against the bed, climbing on top of him happily.

* * *

 

The place was packed, figures for a Friday night. The group walked in, Mabel with Dipper happily chatting away with the two blondes tagging just a foot behind them. Pacifica carelessly checking every one of her social media accounts on her phone while Bill looked around the dimly lit restaurant with wide eyes at all the pictures and trinkets hung around. 

“Hi there! Welcome to Apple Bee’s! Just four for you guys? Alright right this way!” A happily cheerful woman greeted them, her dyed black hair pulled back into a ponytail that hung from her shoulder as she reached forwards to grab the correct number of menus.

“Oh! Can I get some crayons too?” Mabel spoke up, smiling equally widely as the waitress did moments ago, who instead gave her a questioning look before grabbing an additional menu meant for kids along with the small four pack of crayons. 

They were showed to their booth, Bill almost running into the waitress by not paying too much attention, looking around before his eyes lit up widely, “Pine Tree~!! Shooting Star!! You didn’t tell me they had a bar here!!” 

“Hahah, yes we do, sir,” The waitress smiled up at him, Dipper couldn’t help but snort at how short she was compared to him, even more so than he was. The woman couldn’t be more than 4’8, Bill towering over her by at least two feet, “I’d assume then you’d probably want something from there to drink?”

“Margarita!” Bill happily spoke, smiling down at here, his eyes and smile wide as if he were a child in a candy shop.

“Oh my God Bill, n-“

“Well I could get that for you, but I’ll have to see your I.D. first,” She continued to smile.

Bill dropped his smile to give her a quizzical look, “What is an I.D.?”

Dipper reached over and yanked on Bill’s wrist, tugging him down to sit in the booth next to him. They sat opposite of Mabel and Pacifica, and before the demon could say anything else Dipper ordered a drink for him, “Just get him a root beer.”

Bill was about to yell at him until he heard the last part, assuming what he was getting was something from the bar, happily sitting back against his seat as the others ordered their own drinks. Mabel was holding onto the crayons but was focused on speaking with her brother, Bill taking curiosity over the crossword puzzle on the kid’s menu.

“So then I was sitting there at the light, and just out of nowhere this huge deer comes bolting from the side, I’m already slowing down because im not gonna run it, there’s a cop right behind me, but I slam on my brakes and Pacifica is still trying to get my purse, she slams her head right into the dashboard,” Mabel was speaking happily, Pacifica slumping more into her seat and fixing her bangs to cover the large bruise on her forehead as she tried to swallow embarrassment.

Bill listened to her story for only a minute before reaching across the table and snatching the crayons from her hand, paying no mind to Dipper as he tugged his hoodie to get him to sit back down. The demon grabbed the yellow crayon and began scribbling down on the paper. Getting bored of the easy crossword he decided to simply scribble doodles around the margins of the menu. After a while Dipper had joined him, grabbing the blue crayon and adding doodles along with him, still half-heartedly listening to his sister go on about something. Bill scribbled down a forest of pine trees in the corner, Dipper doodling top hat wearing triangles all over with various expression. Snorting a laugh as he made one have a sparkly wide eye and cursive speech that read “So kawaii~!” Bill looking at him with an almost disgusted look.

“Alright, here’s your drinks, are we ready to order?” Their waitress returned with a circular tray of drinks, placing them in front of their correct orders, “So, are we ready to order?”

“Yeah!” Mabel smiled widely, the three of them ordering their food easily.

“And what about you, hun?” she asked Bill, who looked up from his doodles.

“What? Oh I don’t eat,” he smiled at her before going back to doodling chaotic triangles with more proper speech patterns.

“Haha, sorry he doesn’t eat out much is what he means, just get him a grilled cheese from the kid’s menu,” Dipper gave her an awkward smile, “Oh and just fries with that, sorry about that.”

“Uh-huh… Alright,” she took their menus and left them be again.

Bill went to take a drink, immediately pulling back with a confused look, “Dipper, this isn’t beer, this doesn’t even have alcohol in it.”

“Yeah, I’m not having you get drunk or even buzzed,” Dipper spoke point-blank, messing with his straw.

Bill slumped back with a pout, slipping his hands into the large pocket in the front of his hoodie. A wide smile quickly to over his expression as his hands felt the forgotten remote he had stuck there. Watching out of the corner of his eyes over at his human as he flickered the switch on, biting back a laugh at the reaction he received. Dipper was taking a sip of his own drink when he felt the vibe vibrate inside of him, being pressed right up against the bundle of nerves for a couple of seconds before stopping. He choked on his soda, his eyes wide and beginning to tear up as the carbonated drink painfully dripped from his nose and over the table. Pulling back coughing loudly.

“Oh my God Dipper are you alright?” Mabel reached over the table directly across from her, eyes wide with worry.

“Yeah, Pine Tree what happened?” Bill looked at him with worried knit eyebrows, looking him over as he rubbed his back soothingly. The human glared at him, face red as he coughed.

Dipper wheezed out between catching his breath, “I-im fi-ne alright, just, wrong pipe is all.”

_ What the fuck was that Bill!?  _ Dipper thought furiously, not even helping his sibling wipe up the mess on the table.

_ I don’t know what you’re talking about. _

_ Bull-fucking-shIT! You told me that you weren’t going to turn that thing on! _

_ Oh, hahah, yeah, well I lied.  _

_ Fuck you! _

_ You would be right now if you hadn’t agreed to this. _

Dipper’s eyes narrowed at the remark as it echoed through his mind, the demon simply smiling as he went back to scribbling on his menu. Bill stayed quiet as he continued to scribble, drawing random things from his own triangular form, to pine trees, to cartoon characters he would see on the TV. It wasn’t until he got bored with all of it when he leaned back against the booth, accidentally kicking the other blonde in front of him and smiling instead of apologizing.

_ Hey, Pine Tree, you notice you and Mabel have a thing for blondes? _

Dipper stopped his words that he was speaking to Mabel, rolling his eyes to look at the demon before going back to his conversation. 

“Hey, Star, have you ever notice how me and Pacifica both have blonde hair!” Bill interrupted their conversation, “It’s like you Pines twins have a thing for blondes. But I don’t blame you, we are pretty great~!”

“Hm?” Mabel looked from him to Pacifica, “Hahaha! Oh wow you’re right, I never even took into account how you’re both blondes, does this mean you two have a thing for brunettes~?? Oh man this must look so weird!! Hahaha, a double date like this. Oh my God what if you two were twins! That’s be even weirder!!”

Pacifica gave Bill a weird look at the comment, “I’d appreciate the height but I’d hate having him for a sibling.”

“Hey don’t say that! He could be your brother-in-law-in-law!” Mabel playfully shoved her, looking across the table to Dipper and Bill while she wiggled her eyebrows, “I mean, in some weird demon way you two are married, right?”

“Oh man I wish!” Bill laughed happily, looking over to Dipper. He slipped he hand off the table, placing it on the top of his human’s leg before trailing upwards.

Dipper tried not to widen his eyes in surprise when he felt that hand slip between his legs. Instead he squeezed his legs together and leaned forwards on his elbows with a nervous smile of relief when he saw their waitress walk towards them with their food, “Oh awesome! Man, I am starving!!” 

Bill pursed his lips a bit before leaning back and retracting his hand, smiling to himself as he watched their plates get set in front of them.

_ Hey, wanna make this night really fun? _

_ What do you mean by that..? _

_ Don’t give yourself away, don’t draw attention to yourself.  _

“Wha-!” Dipper’s voice was spoken aloud and cut off, feeling that damn vibe pick up again and send vibrations up his spine. 

Bill left it on for a little bit longer, smiling to himself as the waitress looked over at Dipper, “Is everything alright??”

“O-oh yeah! Haha, just ‘whaaa’ this look so good!” He swallowed in relief when Bill clicked the remote off, staring down at his own food.

The waitress whispered a “right.” Before leaving their table to go to another one. 

“Bill, is everything alright? You look like that grilled cheese just insulted you and you’re about to beat it up,” Pacifica spoke up, looking at the demon who had a wide eyed blank look on his face, his mouth dropped a little downwards as he stared at his plate.

He slowly looked up at her, his eyes still wide for a good solid second before he smiled widely at her, “Yes! I just don’t eat very often! That’s all! I’ve never had, whatever this is, before!”

“You’ve never had a grilled cheese before?” Mabel laughed as she took a bite of her own food, staring over at him, “Man, you need to get Dipper to make you one! He makes uh-mazing grilled cheese sandwiches! They cannot compete with any others, they’re just awesome.”

“Really Pine Tree?” Bill looked over at him, his hand dropping back down to his pocket and clicking the remote back on, watching Dipper grit his teeth mid-bite.

Dipper ran his fingers through his hair as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, swallowing with just a bit of difficulty before answering, “Y-ou never asked, but yeah. If you really want I can make you one, later.”

“Aw,” he clicked the remote off again, a loud sigh coming from Dipper, “you’re so sweet. But, what are you eating? I’ve never seen that before.”

Mabel answered him with a laugh, offering him a bite that he happily accepted. Asking Pacifica what she was eating, he received an answer but no offer. Turning to Dipper and not even bothering to ask what it was he was eating, instead taking a bite of it himself. 

He sat back and looked at his own food, whispering to himself, “Yours is pretty good…”

“Yeah, that’s sorta why I got it,” Dipper replied taking another bite.

“Share with me?”

“What,” Dipper stared at him, Bill shifting to face him completely, smiling happily.

“Or I could just take your food, we can switch,” Switch. Speaking of a switch. Bill’s hand slipped back into his hoodie, clicking the setting to the highest it would go.

He smiled, awaiting Dipper to answer. His human held his breath for a moment before shakily exhaling through his teeth, playing it off as a sigh, “I. Suppose, yeah, wa-wait. No, no. Just, share?”

“Share?”

“Share. Mine with you, yours with me.”

“Alright!” Bill replied cheerfully, turning off the vibe.

Dipper sighed and shifted his legs, heat pooling between his legs. This damn booth was uncomfortable and he hated it, he hated everything right now, he hated how he agreed to go out to this, he hated the people that were crowding nearly every seat near their table, he hated that Bill was in control of this, and he hated himself most of all for actually enjoying this. Not that he’d admit that, if he admitted it he wouldn’t hear the end of it, and wouldn’t be able to go out with Bill without the damn demon wanting to make him go through his again. Well, probably at least.

_ You make me out to be so mean, Pine Tree… I’d only do this if you wanted me to, and you sorta just admitted you’re enjoying yourself. _

Dipper didn’t answer, instead of reached over to Bill’s plate and grabbed a triangle of his grilled cheese. Sitting back against the wall as he nibbled on it. Not even listening to what it was that he and Mabel were talking about. He couldn’t focus on anything, and when he did it was a mixture of worrying that someone just knew,  _ knew,  _ what was happening as well as focusing on the toy inside of him. He didn’t notice he had closed his eyes, still chewing on the piece of food in his mouth as he shifted his legs together, his jeans becoming uncomfortably tight as he shifted his hips as best he could.

“Dipper?” his eyes shot open at the sound of his voice, looking over at Mabel, “Everything alright?”

He leaned forwards and placed the grilled cheese on his plate as he nodded, “Yeah, ever-ything is fine.”

Bill watched his every move, turning the vibe back on as his human grabbed his fork to eat his own food. Dipper was in the middle of slowly chewing when he took notice of Pacifica staring at him. Her blue eyes seemingly staring straight through him, freezing under her gaze before swallowing.

_ Bill, Bill knock it off! Alright this was fun, but she knows, she knows! _

Bill turned his gaze towards the young adult sitting across from him, tilting his head as she didn’t notice him, narrowing his gaze before going back to eating his fries. He turned the dial back down till it was off completely.

_ Relax, she doesn’t know. Yet. Although she is wondering what you’re problem is tonight. Also trying to remember one of those short videos, what are they called again? _

_ Okay okay okay, what about Mabel, does she know? _

_ Nah, she’s trying to figure out if she wants to eat dessert or something after this. _

Dipper wanted to allow his head to fall against the table in relief, and just as that thought relaxed him he tensed again. The toy vibrating at its highest setting. He squeezed his eyes shut again and tightened his jaw. The heat pooling in his stomach burning almost, trying to focus his blood not to rush to his face during this entire thing. Resting his head in his hand, fingers gripping his bangs as he bit his tongue. He could feel the sweat at his hairline. 

“Hey, you alright?” Bill leaned closer to him, looking at his face worriedly. He dropped his food in his hand onto a plate and slipped one hand between Dipper’s back and the booth, and the other against his leg. Rubbing soothingly over his clothes. 

“Y-yeah, I’m fi-ne,” Dipper dropped one of his hands down to wrap around his stomach to help play off his lie, “My stomach just hurts… That’s all.”

Bill’s hand on his thigh trailed higher, slipping between his human’s legs again and carefully rubbing the tent in his pants. Still he looked at him with worry despite knowing all too well why he was acting the way he was.

“Hey, Dipper if you’re not feeling okay we can leave,” Mabel looked at him with worry, about to call over their waitress.

Dipper’s voice cracked as he raised it in panic, “N-O! No no, that’s fine, I’m fine, just a stomach ache, that’s all… Not sick, I’ll be fine…”

_ Good boy~… _

Carefully Bill reached into his pocket and turned off the vibe. Dipper sighed in relief, his glassy eyes trailing back over to Pacifica. The blonde still staring at him, a scrutinizing look on her face as her eyes examined over his features, flickering to Bill and back. Suddenly her eyes widened in realization.

_ Fuck! _

Bill looked over his shoulder to the blonde, not once stopping his hand that was between Dipper’s legs, her mouth twisted into a disgusted grimace, not even thinking as she breathed out, “Oh my God…”

“Hm?” Mabel looked up from her food to look at her with question.

‘Nononononononononono, please please please, pleasepleaseplease,’ Dipper pleaded silently, his eyes wide with worry as he stared at her, looking almost as if he were about to cry as he mouthed ‘please, don’t say anything, I’ll owe you one, please!’

Pacifica rolled her eyes as she leaned in her seat, “Nothing, I just realized something.”

Dipper’s face paled at her words, ‘oh god no…’

“Hmmm, what’s that?” Mabel looked over at her as she spoke.

She rolled her eyes and looked away from Dipper as she spoke, “I accidentally forgot to close our bedroom door, and the cat is going to get into my stuff again…”

Mabel laughed, “Really? Geez, you sounded like it was something else! Come on, Detective Whiskers doesn’t get into anything, it’s just your imagination.”

Dipper sighed in relief, relaxing immensely. Bill’s hand palmed him a bit rougher now, enjoying his thoughts as he was brought closer and closer to the edge. Dipper’s toes curled in his shoes, his fingers tightening in his hair and around him as he felt himself walking that fine line. Bill leaned in and gave him a soothing kiss so his cheek, squeezing him as Dipper came in his jeans, biting his tongue hard as he did so. His eyes squeezed tightly as he struggled to sigh quietly.

Bill leaned back completely, still looking at him with worry, “Are you sure you’re alright?” 

“Y-yea-ah…” Dipper whispered, dropping his head and reaching for his drink. Taking long gulps, relishing in the cool drink as he swallowed.

_ You are such an ass…. _

_ But you love me~! _

* * *

 

Dipper rushed up the stairs, wearing Bill’s hoodie snug around his hips. Once he got into his room he tugged off the hoodie, followed quickly by his uncomfortable jeans and underwear. His phone had slipped from the pocket when the denim bunched on the floor. He picked it up and checked the time, taking notice of the small mail icon indicating a new text.

_ Pacifica, 11:41pm: you two are so dISGUSTING!!! Next time we eat out you two are not sitting together! You’re so lucky I’m not telling Mabel, you owe me a lifetime! _

 

**Author's Note:**

> HIU WELCOME TO CHI- I MEAN APPLEBEE'S I'LL TAKE THE BEES
> 
> Sorry, Grotesque is dumb.... 
> 
> K/B/C/Etc~! ^-^/)


End file.
